A Pasue to Reflect
A smile a
laugh- a flash of joy and a fleeting moment of happiness. The same joy curdles
into sorrow, the same laugh morphs into tears. The drama goes on and on –day
and night, without a pause.
I wake up,
brush, bath, eat, work, eat, work, eat and sleep and thus, another day starts.
I may fool myself that by taking away the “work” part, my life may become more
fun, but who can ever remain, even for a moment, without doing any activity
–physical or mental?
In this
framework, infused are the little twists and turns in life. No matter where I
am or what I do, I still follow this rhythm of life. Along comes the friends
and lovers, and just as they come, they leave too. Parents, spouse, siblings,
relatives, in-laws, together we all tumble along the merciless path of time
–now here and now no more.
Set goals, they
say. Achieve something, they say. Make money, build a house, decorate it with
baubles and paint your way into good cheer, travel, have kids, raise them, fill
your wardrobe with beautiful clothes, fill your lockers with expensive jewelry,
wine and dine in places so fine, eat at the roadside stall and shove the moment
down the throat of others through an Instagram post.
Beautify oneself,
defy age, look young, be slim, sweat it out in the gym but always sit in an A/C
room. Soft bed, nice clothes, expensive
cosmetics, parlor appointments, spas and massages, pout away for the selfies
and pictures –Oh my life is so much fun! Scream this from the top of the Facebook
wall.
Feed it, clothe it, protect it and preserve it. Slog day and night only
to nourish it. Hoard and hoard for me and mine. Insure and secure. The whip wielded by the most primal fear cracks mercilessly behind all my actions. To protect this bundle of flesh and bones. Am I just this physical
body?
Like a flowing
river, now the thoughts flow over rocky terrain -all roaring and jumping and
gushing and falling, now over the plains –winding and twisting, calm and
serene, here a whirlpool of sorrow, there a current of anger, plunging down to
the depths of despair and gurgling gloriously with love and elation. My
thoughts determine my moods. Am I just my emotions?
Clouded and
dark, I often falter at the right and wrong. Who can say, what is right and
what is wrong? But knowingly I sin, as if unable to exercise my will. Knowingly
I fall, not being able to heed to the higher call. But at times, the clouds
part. In the brilliance of the light, I see, what I can be.
Pushing away
the clouds, cutting my way through the dense darkness, guided by the burning
urge to know, I march forward. Why am I here? What is this world? Who is God
and what is soul? Who is this “I” that wants to know? Answers are there –already
there. Not only in the books, not only in scriptures, not only in music that stirs
ones soul, not only in the glorious nature that awes and humbles, not only in the
miracles and not only in the mundane.
Nestling
deep within my own bosom. It peeps its head out with every utterance of great
Masters. I flashes its brilliance in moments of worship. It teases me
mercilessly at moments of clarity. It taunts me with its unfathomable bliss, as
I close my eyes in its contemplation. I am. I am. I am. And nothing else
matters.
The experience that most of us go through presented so beautifully. The quest for seeking and staying with the 'I' most challenging of them all!!
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