Manah Sodhanam - Verse 13

I used to think that people who have realized the truth and who live with complete self awareness -or rather, with awareness of the "Self" - will all be like the great yogis and Godmen -having some special power in them. I had this very vague picture of a person full of divine aura, who is always calm and smiling, who knows how the future will unfold, who knows all the secrets that this world holds, who is free from all sorrows etc etc. Visually, I used to imagine a man with long white beard and flowing robes in white, his face the very expression of serenity.

Then, last week, I saw the movie, "On A Quest", which is a biopic of Swami Chinmayananda. While I want to write a bit about the movie on a separate post, let me just say that this movie finally sealed the idea of what and how a life of self awareness through knowledge would actually be like. Knowing this is very important to me because, this is where or how or what I want to transform into -someone who has realized and is living in the ultimate truth.

 And reading verse 13 is like an Aha! moment for me. Well, not exactly the verse but what Swami Tejomayananda has written as a commentary. For the first time, I want to take excerpts from the commentary itself. First, the verse is as follows:

JAGRATYAPI  CA  VIDVAMSAM  PIDAYANTI  NA  TE  TATHA

AVIDVAMSAM  YATHA  LOKAM  DAYAPATRAM  CA  SARVADA

In the previous verse, we saw how the impurities of the mind manifests only when the mind is awake. Verse 13 states that, the impurities of the mind do not trouble the enlightened, even in his waking state. However, the ignorant person's mind is constantly disturbed by the mental impurities and such a person deserves pity.

As I said, more than the verse, I will take the liberty of delving into what Swami Tejomayananda has written as commentary. He says, "For a wise person, there is no such thing as distraction. Although he may display emotions such as anger, happiness, affection, enjoyment or distaste, he still remains untouched and untroubled by them. He may meet with people all over the world, but he has no problems of his own. Sometimes he may worship one God or another, or he may not worship at all; he may or may not meditate, but under no circumstances is he ever unhappy or confused. It is relatively easy to describe Brahman, but it is extremely difficult to describe the knower of Brahman, the enlightened person."

By saying that we cannot describe the knower of Brahman, Swami Tejomayananda has given so much clarity about the knower of Brahman; he simply cannot be boxed into the robes of a sanyasi or an ascetic or a monk or a Godman. He can be like you, me, him, her...just like the person next door. And, by saying that he displays emotions, Swami Tejomayananda has completely made the person "Human", not Godlike.

Nowadays, whenever I feel sad or angry or afraid or insecure, I tell myself that this is not my true nature. I keep reminding myself the first verse of this text -that we all are beings of bliss. And whenever I get irritated or upset with someone, I remind that we all are not separate entities, but one entity in this great cosmic creation. These reminders help me regain my sense of balance. Initially, I used to feel a bit foolish to think so, but now, it comes naturally.

Feeling happy and content is very easy when everything around me is going on well, when all the people that I care about are happy and healthy. My mother keeps saying, "Vendanta will be preached only by those whose stomachs are full." ( Vayiru nerainja vedantam pesalam). How true. While I am able to recover quickly from small small setbacks and insecurities, will I be able to do that when I face something big? Will I be able to draw strength form all that I am learning now? Hari Om!

PS: This must be one of the most incoherent piece that I have ever written. But these are the exact thoughts that I want to convey here.