On Oneness -Part 5 -Conclusion

Before we start, here are the quick links to Part 1, Part 2, Part 3 & Part 4. 

It has been slightly more than a year since I wrote about oneness. I ended part 4 by saying how to put the theory of oneness into practice. To be honest, I didn't know how to put into practice at that time. Ever since, this unwritten piece has been always in my mind. I became more observant of myself and was constantly seeing how I was putting the theory into practice, so that I can finally finish this series. There were many attempts at finishing this...more than 10 drafts that were ruthlessly discarded over the year. After all, it is so easy to intellectually dissect a topic and give convincing arguments, but applying it practically in our lives is a different ball game all together. However, being completely convinced on an intellectual level helped me put my heart & soul into this journey. 

Once, during a Satsang, Guruji Swami Tejomayananda mentioned that being at ease with everyone is the essence of oneness. That struck me as something so simple, so lucid and yet so profound and powerful. It gave me a direction to put the theory into practice. 'To be at ease with all' is definitely something that I can work towards -as it is a very tangible and relatable concept...not as lofty as 'oneness'. 

Taking this as my reference point, I was observing my own reaction to people around me. It was quite interesting. 

I observed that I was the most at ease  

• When I am at a situation where people around me were on the wavelength as I am.The same person can be a source of both ease & unease, depending on the situation & circumstances
• As long as my ego was validated
• As long as I knew I was not being judged, 
• As long as my core beliefs were not opposed
• With myself when my thoughts were not revolving around people but was firmly orbiting the realms of devotion, reflection of scriptures, ideas etc. 

In a nutshell, I was at ease as long as my expectations -from others as well as myself, was met. When my expectations were not met, I was not at ease. 

We all have some basic expectations - we expect to be treated with respect, we expect to be appreciated / acknowledged for what we do, we expect others to be kind, understanding, loving & supportive, we expect our beliefs to be validated and not questioned and above all, we expect to meet our own expectations and standards. 

Thus,when our expectations are met -by our own self & also by those around us, we are the most at ease. 

So they key to be at ease is to manage our expectations. This is where it got all the more interesting. I started being aware of my own unease -earlier I used to just brush it aside, avoid it or ignore it. Now,  started looking AT IT, to understand what was MY underlying expectation, and I try to set the expectation free. To set it free in the sense, I am understanding that how people behave towards me is an expression of who they are, not a reflection of who I am. Within me, I started integrating myself to be fully responsible & accountable to myself for what I do & stop seeking external validation to a large extent. This is still not easy, because I know I still seek validation from my parents, spouse, mentors & others who matter to me. But I am getting there, one step at a time. 

This helped me tide over the feeling of unease. Even though I do feel the hurt, anger, disappointment and a whole host of other similar emotions, I am not dwelling on them for long. I am able to let go of the disappointment and move on with the situation. Even when someone did a grave injustice to me, it did not poison my heart. I was simply able to move on, without harboring any ill will towards that person, though of course, I may never enter into any transactions with them. 

This constant observation, coupled with constant hammering of the idea that this whole world is nothing but an expression of that Supreme Power truly helps me to try to have an open mind and heart. 

With this, here comes the tools of the practice. These are the major practices that helps me be at ease. 

• The first step is intellectual conviction. This is achieved through extensive reading and listening. Based on the information gathered, observation of the same in everyday life further cements the understanding. 
• To be very honest, the conviction took its own sweet time, but faith helped. All Masters across all religions & spiritual sects & all major scriptures expound this concept of oneness. It was easier to place my faith on them and start with the firm acceptance that, "I am not yet able to fully comprehend what they are saying, but I believe in what they say"
• Second is becoming an observer or a witness to my own mind. I train my mind to watch itself. This is not easy. I struggle with the regularity of the practice & easily get swept out of the witnessing mode. However, regular mediation -even for 5 minutes a day, practicing mindfulness, being aware and alert, having constant reminders -all help to be in the witnessing state. 
• Third is to accept things as they are. As I try to observe myself, without any judgement, I am able to see things as they are, without my emotional filters. This helps in becoming comfortable in facing the uncomfortable. 
• Fourth and the most important - is to give - freely, without any fear and unconditionally, -that which we want for ourselves. Gurudev Swami Chinmayananda urges us to give freely -Love, kindness, compassion, understanding, appreciation, patience, being non judgmental, freedom, support -give give and keep giving. Give, because that which we give to others, we give to ourselves. Give, because there is no 'other', but only "I" in all these names and forms. For me, initially it was very  mechanical, but soon it did start coming from the depth of the heart. 
• It helps me a lot to go back to the reference point of being at ease. Trying to put the other person at ease automatically helps me feel at ease. 

Whether we are aware or not, this life is a journey in discovering our true nature in all its glory... For us to experience our infinitude and magnificence, to comprehend our Self which is beyond the comprehension of our mind and intellect, to revel in our completeness, to know beyond all doubt that this whole universe is an expression of unconditional love & see the Self in all as the Self in us...

We are not separate. We are not at odds with one another. We are all in this together. We are one!

Om... Peace... Peace... Peace!

P.s: This last piece of the series has been a culmination of a year of rumination, reflection and experimentation with myself. I am thankful for the opportunity to share it with you. But for the grace of my Guru & the patience of my acharyas, there would have been no comprehension or expression of this Truth for me. All errors in this series are purely mine and any good that is there in this, is completely theirs. May they, forever, bless us all abundantly.