Manah Sodhanam - Verse 17


Today was a wonderful day. When the mind is at peace, all days are wonderful days. Also, today was Ekadasi. Since new year, I am trying to fast on Ekadasi. Not only for religious reason, but primarily for self control. I have very very poor self control when it comes to food. I am so bad that, right after having my dinner, I will open the fridge and see if there is anything to eat. Seriously! And if you place any form of yummy food in front of me, I just can't resist taking a bite...no matter how full I feel. Another thing is, I can't control my emotions when I don't have food in my tummy. It is like as if I have a split personality. When I don't get food when I am hungry, I throw tantrums -anger, weeping, irrational decisions...uff. "Hangry" (Hungry + angry) is the perfect expression for what I go through during those times.

My Guru tells that During Ekadasi, there is an abundance of energy around us, so that we can survive with little or no food on that day. Even my erstwhile Yoga Master used to say the same thing. He insisted that we eat atleast a mouthful less that what we usually  have. "We don't need to eat a lot on Ekadasi", he used to say. But I never attempted to fast, because, I just couldn't imagine being without proper food for a whole day. Then, 2015 dawned on a Ekadasi, and I thought that it was the perfect time to start the fast.

The most surprising thing about it was, I found the fasting to be so easy. Technically, I don't really go without food. I just have fruits and milk. Nothing else. And I thought I will be feeling constantly hungry throughout the day, but that was not the case. Even when I felt hungry, I just reminded myself that there is an abundance of energy around me and I don't really need food in my belly now. And I am so pleased with the restraint I show around food. It is true that vrata really helps in purifying the thoughts. I now don't feel too much craving for food. Yay!

So enough already with my fasting. It is not like as if I am fasting like the Jains -who go without food or water for days together. But this little exercise in self discipline has thought me so much about being objective. And that is what verse 17 also talks about.

LABHE  SUKHI  TATHA DUKHI  HYALABHE  PRIYAVASTUNAH
SAMSARO  YAM  MAYA  PRAPTO  MITHYADHYASAPURAHSARAH

I am so boringly predictable. Like a little kid, I am happy if I get what I want. If I don't get what I want, I feel unhappy. I suffer because, I superimpose my happiness and peace on external factors.

Food! Again! If I am able to not become hangry during Ekadasi, then I am sure I can do the same on other days. Not that I should continually fast, but I now know that I CAN control my emotions and feelings even when I am hungry. Also, I now know that if I want, I am capable of not helping myself even when my favorite food is placed right in front of me. When I can be objective about food, I am sure, that with God's grace, objectivity will follow in other aspects of my life too. Hari Om!

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